Reflecting on A Summer of STREAM: A Declaration of ‘Intern’-Dependence
When in the course of intern events, it becomes necessary for two interns to dissolve the temporal bonds which have connected them with their employer, and to assume, as a result, of the powers of Genesis: Pathways to Success, the separate and un-equal station to which the laws of Amy Streator and Clarice Patterson entitle them, a decent respect to the opinions of intern-kind requires that they should declare the causes which compel them to avoid a separation.
We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all intern tasks are not created equal, and yet they are assigned to their interns with certain unalienable duties, that among these are coffee runs, trips to the grocery store, and…blog posts. --That to secure these duties, Genesis institutes deadlines among Interns, deriving their just powers from Clarice Patterson, --That whenever any form of deadline becomes surprisingly near, it is the practice of the interns to scramble, or to grovel for an extension, and to then reach said deadline, owing their successes to such benevolence and lending their achievements in such form, as to that which will most likely affect their jobs’ security and boss’s happiness. The history of the present state of Genesis is a history of repeated successes and hijinks, all having in direct object the establishment of these interns at the beginning of the summer. To prove this, let facts be submitted to a candid world:
The interns have expressed their convoluted thoughts and reflections through increasingly bizarre blog posts.
They have inspired summer camp attendees, to the detriment of their own reputations and maturity, through tomfoolery and excessively juvenile behavior; acts which resulted in the enhancement of the collective experience and enjoyment of A Summer of STREAM.
Interns have performed backbreaking chores and demands by traveling to Gillman’s Home Center and Kroger Marketplace to procure such necessary and rare materials required for summer camps and benefit of the office, as: juice boxes, water, screws, batteries, glue, popsicle sticks, chips, and other assorted snacks.
Interns have called together dining establishments of places local, nearby, and imminent in respect to the location of camps and activities, for the sole purpose of nourishment of campers, volunteers, and educational personnel.
They have expressed a jovial demeanor repeatedly, whilst completing (mostly) all of their assignments, opposing the firmness of the conventional work place, contributing a jocular atmosphere to the office of the Ripley County Community Foundation.
Interns have yet to overcome the gaming prowess of their boss, Clarice Patterson, in regard to titles such as: Mario-Kart, Super Smash Brothers, Nintendo Switch Bowling, and Nintendo Switch Volleyball, a part of Fun-day Friday instituted at the behest of Clarice Patterson and Amy Streator for the sake of improving office morale.
Interns have abused the office telephone system to annoy and pester their boss and co-workers, actions that, though seemingly annoying and guided towards no discernable end, once more contributed to an environment of whimsy.
In every stage of these shenanigans interns have expressed their natures of jest, and yet productivity in the most humble terms: Their henceforth petition to remain on staff has been answered only by somber faces. A face whose character is thus marked by every act of tomfoolery which may define these interns, and that says without speaking to their capability for staying on task while partaking in chucklesome activities.
We, therefore, the interns of Genesis: Pathways to Success, in Blog Post, assembled, appealing to the sentiments of Clarice Patterson for the rectitude of our intentions, do, in the name, and by authority of the good desires of our bank accounts and résumés, solemnly publish and declare, that these interns are, and of right, ought to be allowed to stay instead of leaving; that they are absolved from all allegiance to the British Crown, and that all connection between them and Genesis: Pathways to Success, is not, and may not be, totally dissolved; and that as full members and employees of Genesis: Pathways to Success, they have full power to continue working and collect a paycheck, complete projects, contact local businesses and restaurants, write press releases, construct blog posts, and to do all other acts and things which full-time employees (or, at the very least, extended interns) may of right do. And for the support of this declaration of intern dependence, with a firm reliance on the protection of providence, we mutually pledge to each other our lives, our fortunes, and our sacred honor.
