Wizards in the Muggle World

Article by Caroline Kellerman, Reporter of a Non-Wizarding Newspaper Company

BREAKING: Witches and Wizards caught learning spells, building wands, and playing a senseless game known as Quidditch this week in Oldenburg, Indiana!

Witnesses say that they revealed themselves in the notion of attending Genesis: Pathways to Success’ Camp Hogwarts.

During an interview with the leader of the absurd “camp,” Clarice Patterson, the Director of Genesis, explained, “On day one of camp, the first year students began the day by meeting in Great Hall where they were sorted into their appropriate Houses. Houses (Gryffindor, Hufflepuff, Ravenclaw, and Slytherin) are like families, uniting students together who share similar personality traits. This activity was followed by them decorating their House chambers, receiving their personal wands, and finishing the day with games of competitive Quidditch.”

Many fear that all of this magical nonsense is all in great plan to invade our world, while others believe that it is a successful intertwine between magical notions and muggle born math and science concepts.

Another wizarding magic enabler, the Ripley County County Community Foundation’s Executive Director, Amy Streator, said, “The students attended courses such as Defense Against the Dark Arts, Potions, Transfiguration, and Frog Choir where they utilized soft skills such as teamwork, problem-solving, critical thinking, and creavity. Through the development of these soft skills, students were also introduce to STREAM (Science, Technology, Reading, Engineering, Art, and Math) concepts.”

The “students” could be seen competing in different scavenger hunts and relay races to discern riddles and compete against opposing Houses. Some sources say it was promoting teamwork. However, was it teamwork or the promotion of magic that the human species knows nothing of?

On the third day of analyzing this camp, there was evidence of a certain House called “Ravenclaw” being seen winning the Quidditch Cup and another House known as “Hufflepuff” winning the House Cup. Supposedly the House that demonstrated good sportsmanship and the best teamwork was victorious in winning this Cup. A grand feast also took place in their Great Hall to celebrate the long week of fun learning.

Patterson commented, “Genesis would like to give a special thanks to Oldenburg Academy for hosting the event, the Batesville McDonald’s for providing a Muggle Meal for all students and volunteers to enjoy, and Kids Discovery Factory for donating supplies. All of these sponsors helped to make this camp possible, and it was tremendous and successful end to our Summer of STREAM!”

Be safe out their folks, seems as if this camp will be returning for a second year!

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